


Like a Man in Fire or Lime

by Kutaisi



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Clone Angst, Disguise, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Identity Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26513650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kutaisi/pseuds/Kutaisi
Summary: Obi-Wan ends up in clone armour at the end of a mission but his return to camp leads to a conversation with Rex that challenges everything he thinks he knows about the army he helps lead.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/CT-7567 | Rex
Comments: 14
Kudos: 209





	Like a Man in Fire or Lime

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by some Discord conversations that forced me to think about this. Have some angst.
> 
> Title from "Dulce et Decorum Est" by Wilfred Owen, because of course. It was published a hundred years ago, but I should probably add that the poem would have a higher rating than this fic due to graphic depictions of violence

Obi-Wan parked the speeder bike he’d used to get back to camp and sighed. He struggled a bit getting off the bike due to fatigue and the fact he wore a full set of GAR armour. At least that was over. The long and tedious battle had been won, though both the 212th and 501st had suffered more casualties than he was comfortable with. It could have been a lot worse, and probably would have been if Anakin hadn’t come up with another of his last minute and completely rash, but surprisingly effective plans.

This particular one had required Obi-Wan to sneak into their target’s hideout in disguise and while he hadn’t liked taking armour from an injured man, they’d been successful and he’d just heard from his former padawan that the trooper in question had been safely evacuated to their ship and was getting his broken leg treated.

But Obi-Wan was exhausted. For once Cody wouldn’t have to convince him to retire at a decent time. He’d just get changed, write up his report, meet Rex like they’d planned and then get some much-needed tea and a bit of sleep. He’d already commed the captain to tell him he was on his way back, though he’d saved the details of the fight for later. He had hopes of convincing Rex to come spend the night in his tent seeing as both Anakin and Ahsoka were off-planet. 

He was just at the edge of camp when he felt a swirl of emotions in the Force and noticed Major Alrick. The natural born officer was a new and temporary addition to Anakin’s legion and while Obi-Wan had only spoken to him a few times, the man had seemed capable enough.

Except now, he was shouting at some troopers who looked about how Obi-Wan felt. “What is wrong with you clones? Were my instructions not clear? Worthless, honestly. They may as well scrap the lot of you and go with droids like the Seppies.”

“You’re out of line, Major! Don’t ever speak to them like that.” Obi-Wan found he was too tired and drained to try for anything resembling diplomacy. It was only after the words were out of his mouth and Alrick had refocused his anger on Obi-Wan that he realised he was still wearing a helmet.

“What’d you say to me?”

Obi-Wan glanced from the major to the shocked and horrified men he’d tried to defend. If he took the helmet off at this point it would be more of an embarrassing mess than he was currently capable of dealing with. “That’s, ah, well,” he said as he decided on a quick retreat and attempted to back away.

Alrick didn’t go for it. “And what’s with the way you talk? Are you mocking me?”

“Uh, no sir.” Obi-Wan refrained from pointing out that he sounded nothing like the major and instead attempted to achieve something like the Concord Dawn accent that Fett and most of his clones had. “Of course not. I’ll just, uh, go now.”

“You’re not going anywhere, trooper.” That wasn’t Alrick, and the familiar voice was accompanied by a firm grip on his shoulder.

Rex arrived too late to have heard what the rookie trooper said to Alrick or how he said it, but he didn’t need to, judging from the fury etched on the man’s features and the ashen state of the other clones' faces.

“Sir, what’s the problem?” Rex asked the major, stepping closer to him and away from the others with one last glare over his shoulder to make it clear that he expected them to wait. Rex listened to the natural born officer’s rant with practiced patience and only when he finished did the captain wave over the trooper in question. The man wore armour that was still all white save for some scuff marks likely from the day's fighting and a single blue inverted triangle on one vambrace. He stood a bit apart from the other three and his tense posture made his feelings clear despite the fact that his face wasn’t visible.

“Apologise to Major Alrick,” Rex said.

There was a pause that went on far longer than the captain was comfortable with before the man raised his head just enough. “I’m sorry, Major.”

“Be more specific,” Rex gritted out.

“I apologise for… speaking out of turn.” There was a just perceptible amount of sass in the trooper’s tone and Rex hoped with every fibre of his being that Alrick hadn’t picked up on it. "And for being insubordinate," was added on grudgingly after a pointed look from the captain.

Rex stepped in between the two before the officer could say anything. “I’ll take care of this, sir.”

For one terrifying moment, Rex thought the major wouldn’t be satisfied with that, but though his expression remained sour, he nodded slightly. “See that you do.”

Rex saw the problem shiny relax slightly as Alrick walked away and then stiffen again when the captain turned his attention back to him. Good. He should be worried. But Rex addressed the other three first. “You all in the same squad?” He vaguely recognised two of them but not the one who’d mouthed off.

To Rex’s surprise, they shook their heads. “No, sir. Trip, Luka and I are, but we don’t know the rookie,” one of them said with a nervous glance at the fourth clone.

That was unexpected. Rex knew that long battles like the one they’d just survived could mess with a person’s head. The urge to stand up for your squadmates and batchers was a strong one, after all, even with training, but the lack of any relationship with the others was odd. He was starting to get a seriously bad feeling about this kid.

On top of all that, it just wasn’t fair. The last week had been more than rough and General Kenobi… Obi-Wan… had just commed Rex to let him know he was coming back to camp. He managed not to sigh audibly. “Okay then, you’re dismissed,” he said. “Not you,” he added as the cause of all this moved to leave as well. As if.

“Rex,” the trooper began.

The anger that began to fade within the captain suddenly flared back up. “That’s ‘captain’ or ‘sir’ to you, and I’d think very carefully before you next open your mouth, you understand me?” 

The only response was a small step backward and a nod. 

“Good. Now, I can see you’re one of ours, but who are you?”

“CT-21-8391.” There was only a tiny hint of hesitation and when Rex frowned slightly, he added a belated ‘sir.’

When had this one been decanted? Yesterday? Rex refrained from asking the question out loud. He did recognise the number. The trooper had been part of the last batch from Kamino. “Follow me.” To Rex’s relief the shiny obeyed and they walked deeper into the rows of tents. “What do they call you?” He asked once they got close to a small supply tent.

Another pause. “Ben.”

“That’s a Mando name.” That was a little surprising given how young he must be. Or perhaps not. There were plenty of older _vode_ who helped train cadets. He pulled the tent flap open and was glad to see that while it contained boxes and crates, there was no one inside. 

“Captain, I—” Ben began before he was cut off with a scowl that might have made Prime proud. Rex was the commanding officer here and this conversation would happen on his terms.

“Get in here,” he ordered.

The trooper obeyed but as soon as they were inside, he tried to speak again. His voice sounding odd and strangled through his bucket’s vocoder. “I just need to—”

Rex whipped around to face him. “You’ve done more than enough. So now I want you to shut the hell up unless you’re answering my questions.” He noticed that Ben’s hands which had been moving up toward his helmet suddenly fell back down. “What were you thinking, kid?”

“You didn’t hear what Alrick said.”

There was that attitude again, although the shiny’s voice sounded closer to normal.

“I didn’t have to. He’s a natborn and an officer. He can say just about whatever the kriff he wants. You, on the other hand… well, it should go without saying.”

“That’s not right.” The trooper may have been wearing his full kit of armour, but defiance and tension were more than evident in his body language and Rex felt his composure dissolve. “Even considering rank, it’s not okay."

“It’s not just about rank! Did you hit your head out there, or what?”

“Captain—”

Rex stepped closer and pointed a finger at the younger trooper’s chest. “ _You_ are property.”

Ben reeled back like he’d been struck. “You don’t mean that.”

The captain let out a humourless laugh. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know. The sooner you come to terms with that, the more of a chance you’ll have of surviving this war.” He thought it might take a miracle for Ben to get through, but this was a brother. He had to try. 

“You’re not Mandalorian, you know,” Rex said, slowly and deliberately. That got a reaction. The bucket tilted up and Rex knew the kid’s eyes were on him. “I mean, you can go ahead and claim the culture if you want. We have just as much right to that as anyone. Screw those Death Watch bastards. 

That elicited what might have been an approving noise from Ben.

“But we belong to the Republic and you can’t forget that. Not ever.”

They stood in silence until Rex gave up on getting any kind of reply. Then he crossed over to the other side of the tent where there was a long folding table that held two large bins and one small one. Everything looked about as he’d left it. The larger containers were full of backup firearms, salvaged from the battlefield. None of which were in great condition and many were probably in disrepair and all needed cleaning of some kind. The small bin contained repair supplies. He knew his men were worn out and in poor spirits, so he’d planned on doing the work himself that night after Obi-Wan fell asleep. “Come over here.”

Though he moved like he was in some sort of daze, Ben did as he was told. “Captain?” 

“I want you to check every one of these and clean the ones that are in decent enough condition. Make sure you check all the functions first.”

The shiny just stared at him. 

Rex, who’d never put much stock in religion, found himself praying for patience. “Is there something you don’t understand?” 

“No, but…” Ben trailed off, either unable or unwilling to say what was on his mind. Which, considering his recent track record, was probably a good thing. 

“Then get started. And trust me, this is a lot more fun than scrubbing a barracks and shower block, which is exactly what you’ll be doing when we get back to the ship.” He waited until he got a nod and a mumbled affirmative. It was far too casual an answer, but Rex let it go. “Do a good job. I’ll be back to check on you later.”

Obi-Wan made a show of picking up one of the battered blaster rifles and inspecting it until he felt Rex’s Force signature fade. Then he dropped the thing back in its box and stumbled backwards until he found a crate to sit on. He pulled off the helmet and sat it carefully on another crate.

He tried his best to release his overwhelming emotions into the Force, but it wasn’t easy. It had been downright impossible earlier when he’d stood face to face with Rex and listened to what exactly his lover had to say to Obi-Wan when he thought he was a comrade in arms rather than the Jedi general he was sleeping with. 

Those already unpleasant thoughts brought something even worse to mind.

They’d never really talked much about feelings and Obi-Wan was as guilty of avoiding the subject as Rex. He’d thought it made sense. The war was, if anything, getting worse and they both had responsibilities that dwarfed any personal relationships. It had seemed logical to wait to have that conversation. It hadn’t changed the fact that Obi-Wan loved Rex. And up until their last conversation, he would have sworn that the captain had feelings for him as well. 

But Rex had sincerely believed the things he’d said to the person he’d thought was a rebellious rookie with a big mouth. There was no doubting that. Even worse, Obi-Wan knew he had a point. While he was sure that most of the Jedi who worked with clones cared about them as people and did the best they could for them, the Order was beholden to the Senate and the Chancellor and the Republic as a whole.

Could a clone trooper in the Grand Army of the Republic even consent to a relationship with a natural born officer? 

He started sifting through his memories of their time together, before and after it changed from purely professional to… whatever it ended up being. It was Rex who had taken their relatively tame flirtations up a notch. The captain was under Anakin’s direct command, of course, but their power imbalance meant Obi-Wan never would have made the first move. Now he was wondering if it wasn’t inappropriate regardless. 

Yet… he remembered the contentment in the Force around them the first time they kissed. And the heat in Rex’s eyes when he’d pushed Obi-Wan down onto a bunk and snapped binders on his wrists, per his lover’s whispered request. No, he was sure that, all moral issues aside, Rex had been sincere. He didn’t know how he should proceed. Ending things would be the most responsible choice, he knew, and yet that seemed unthinkable.

He looked down at the commlink hooked to his belt and then over to the boxes of blasters.

Rex groaned as he collapsed at one of the tables that had been set up in the improvised officer’s mess. Cody and Boil, who sat opposite, looked at him with unconcealed concern.

“What’s wrong?” Cody asked. “You seemed okay when you commed after the battle.”

He told them. 

“Damn,” said Boil with a bitter laugh. “It’s surprising he made it off Kamino.”

“I know.” The captain then looked over at his _ori’vod_ and didn’t miss the stricken look the commander hastily hid. He knew Cody was thinking of Sergeant Slick. Rex was probably the only one who was aware of just how much those events bothered the marshal commander. He doubted that even Obi-Wan knew, despite how close he was to Cody. 

Thinking of the general made Rex frown when he realised he hadn’t heard from him since his call earlier. In a way, it was a good thing because Rex had got distracted with the troublesome shiny, but he hoped Obi-Wan hadn’t immediately thrown himself into work. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he decided to be magnanimous and wait to confirm before sending a sure to be wrathful Cody after him. 

“I should get back,” Rex said as he stood up. “I’m not completely comfortable leaving him alone right now.”

Cody narrowed his eyes. “Seriously?”

“It’s that bad, I swear.” 

“You want me to help?”

It was certainly tempting to let Cody take over, but it was Rex’s responsibility. “I’ve got this.”

“Of course you do, _vod’ika_ .” 

Rex paused as he returned his tray. Dinner had been a better than average combination of the normal fare and local vegetables, and Ben had looked a little on the small side. He couldn’t reward bad behaviour but Kix would have his head if he indirectly contributed to a trooper’s malnutrition, so he compromised by grabbing two field ration bars on the way out.

When he got to the door of the supply tent, he paused and then smiled at the sound of grumbling and a muttered curse in Mando’a. Maybe the kid would be alright after all. 

He walked in and the helmetless individual who was glaring at a particularly banged up rifle looked up at him. 

For one brief moment, Rex felt reality expand then collapse around him. He was sure he’d lose his footing and fall to the ground. But when he forced himself back to present, he was thankfully still standing. Standing and looking at a Jedi general of the GAR who wore trooper armour and an abashed expression. 

Obi-Wan felt Rex’s approach, but didn’t stop what he was doing until he heard what he saw were ration bars hitting the ground. The fact that something that was supposed to be food could make such a loud noise on a packed dirt floor was concerning all on its own. 

“Ob— General Kenobi. Sir, what—”

He moved around the table but wasn’t sure how close he should get. “Rex, please. It’s all right.”

The captain wasn’t making eye contact. “General, I… I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You did nothing wrong.” He took a step closer. “I’m afraid the mission necessitated a last minute disguise.”

Emotions roiled around them, but at last Rex met his eyes. “And the real 21-8391?”

“His name is Steel and he’s got an injured leg, but Anakin tells me he’ll be fine.”

Rex nodded slowly, relief evident in his expression, and once again Obi-Wan felt a surge of affection for this man who was a faithful soldier of the Republic, an exceptional commanding officer and a caring and attentive lover. “That’s good.”

“Oh, is that my dinner?” Obi-Wan asked, pointing to the rations on the floor in an attempt to break what was threatening to become more than just an awkward silence.

“Wha— _No.”_ Suddenly, Rex was staring at him in horror, while he tried unsubtly to kick the offending rations away. “Oh little gods, you haven’t eaten. And you were actually checking those blasters. Cody’s gonna kill me and it won’t be a merciful death.” 

“I’ll make sure he knows it was my fault. Barring that, I’ll order the nicest possible funeral wreath.” 

The gamble worked and Rex grinned. “You’d better.”

“Then if you don’t mind, I think I should go take a shower.” 

“Obi-Wan, wait.”

He paused. “Yes?”

“Those… things I said. Earlier. You were right, I didn’t mean it. Any of it. You know how it is, post-battle. I got carried away and I shouldn’t have… well, I wanted you to know.”

Obi-Wan felt something inside him shatter because he thought that might have been the first time Rex had truly lied to him. He could feel the wrongness all around him, but he simply nodded. “I understand.” He did understand. Finally.

He took a quick shower, changed back into robes and then sat on his cot to write up his daily report over a late dinner. 

It was dark when he slipped into Rex’s tent. He was pleased to see that though there were three bedrolls, only one was occupied. Rex had stripped down to his blacks and was reading something on a datapad. “Obi-Wan?”

“I hope you don’t mind.”

Rex sat up and patted the space next to him. He seemed genuinely pleased. “Of course not.” 

“And your tentmates?”

Then there was a laugh. A real one. “Who exactly could they complain to?”

“You have a point.” Obi-Wan removed all but his underclothes and moved to sit next to his lover. “I’m sorry it’s so late. I got into a little trouble with my captain.”

Rex snorted and put away the datapad. “Oh yeah? Sounds like your CO's a bit of a hardass."

It took some arranging of the blankets, but they managed it so they were laying side by side. “He can be, but he’s a good officer. And an even better man.” 

“Hm.” Rex kissed his forehead. “Sleep well, _cyare_ .” 

“You too.”

But Obi-Wan didn’t sleep. He knew he’d have to, eventually, but his mind was racing. He’d always been bothered by the origins of the Republic’s conveniently available clone army. Everyone who was aware of the details was to some extent, though of course he understood why the Senate had agreed to employ it anyway. But for too long he’d ignored his misgivings. It was wrong and he’d put a stop to it. If that meant single-handedly finding a way to stop this war that was getting messier and more complicated by the day, he would. He felt as if a thick fog was clearing in front of him. He’d find a way to save Rex and Cody and all of their brothers. He had to.


End file.
